January 1, 2012 ~ Auld Lang Syne Edition!!!!!
HUB NEWS FROM 20 YEARS AGO
Jan., 1991
Paris without a Visa
Kolleen and Kirk Hughes are taking their winter vacation in Paris, France.
In preparing for the trip, Kolleen was talking to her well-traveled aunt who asked Kolleen if she had her visa. Kolleen said, “No, Dad frowns on them. We’re not taking any credit cards.”
Kolleen should have quit while she was ahead. But instead, the conversation continued and her aunt asked where they planned to stay. Kolleen told her they had made arrangements to stay in hospitals because they were a lot cheaper. “Hostels” was the word Kolleen meant to say.
June, 1991
Gopher Season opens
Gopher hunting has never received proper recognition. As far as we know, it’s never received any recognition. But, according to Kim Hughes, when you see a diehard gopher hunter in action, the sport takes on an entirely new meaning.
Kim drove into Doc Regan’s yard where Doc was sitting silently in a lawn chair with a shotgun in one hand. On the ground in front of the chair was a garden hose running full blast into a gopher hole. Doc was ready for the kill as soon as he flushed out the critter.
Whether Doc bagged his prey or ran the well dry was not reported. The excitement was too much for Kim so he got out of there.
Jan, 1991
Imogene Grain Market
Avererage grain prices for the month of December were:
Corn: $2.12
Beans: $5.56
Feb., 1991
Children taught safety
Omaha, NE – Tony Martin, born and raised in rural Imogene, now lives in Omaha where he and his wife, Terrie, are working and raising four children. They have drilled it into their children not to talk to strangers and to come into the house immediately if a stranger is lurking around their neighborhood.
Dominic, 6, and Nicholas, 4, often play in the parking lot of St. Stanislaus Church which is across the street from their home. Recently the two boys came running into the house and breathlessly told their dad that a stranger in the parking lot tried to talk to them. Tony praised his boys for not talking to the stranger. The boys went on to say that the stranger wouldn’t quit talking to them and that he also followed them when they headed for home.
Tony didn’t like the sound of this at all. He questioned the boys and got a description of the suspect. While looking up the phone number of the Omaha Police, Tony asked the kids, “How old do you think he was?” Dominic and Nicholas answered, “Oh, about five.”
March, 1991
Nebelisms
It was Shrove Tuesday when Marty Laughlin had a draw beer at the Town and Country Tavern where Joe Nebel was a customer.
Noted for his natural ability to make a party out of nothing, Nebel, who would rather have been at the Mardi Gras, declared it to be “Marty Draw” in Imogene and the party began.
May, 1991
Dandelion irrigation
Bud Laughlin has an intense hate for dandelions. He’s out to kill at the first sign of the pesky weeds. Bud is also losing it.
Story has it that Bud sprayed his entire yard and surrounding areas before realizing that he forgot to mix chemicals with the water in his sprayer.
November, 1991
Ear ache remedy
With the change in temperatures this time of year it’s not uncommon for children to get those dreadful ear aches. Mary Ellen King was reminiscing about raising her children and her home remedy for a child’s ear ache.
Mary Ellen said she would boil a raisin, get it nice and plump, hot and juicy, put it inside a cotton ball and put it in the child’s ear. The moist heat was supposed to stop the pain.
This makes sense, but did it work? Mary Ellen doesn’t know for sure. She said the kids were usually so darn hungry they ate the raisin.
December, 1991
Needs practice
Hub Cub Reporter Kirk Hughes had his first experience with using a micro-recorder for an interview. His assignment was a group of hunters from Muskatine, IA. Kirk was already familiar with the group.
With all the professionalism he could muster up, and remembering the reporter’s questions, Who? What? When?, etc., Kirk began his interview. The first question on the recorder was, “What’s your name, Brad?” And it went downhill from there.
August, 1991
Bug spreads through Hughes Family
There seems to be a bug in the Hughes family.
The epidemic started this spring when little Kenny Hughes, son of Joe and Jackie Hughes, was burning trash near an out building on their farm. The building caught on fire and was destroyed.
About a month later the bug hit at the Junior and Pam Hughes farm when two of their children thought it would be nice to have a wiener roast. Since it was too windy out in the open, the kids started their bonfire inside a shed. The Imogene Fire Dept. kept the fire from spreading to the house but was unable to save the building. The kids were unharmed by the fire but did get a few blisters from natural causes.
Last month the epidemic spread on down the road to Bernie and Karen Hughes’ farm. Once again, another building was lost to fire. Imogene firefighter Pat Williams said the fire “could have been started by rats chewing the electrical wiring.” An empty matchbook near the site indicated that the rats might have also been playing with matches.
With four little suspects to be interrogated by Bernie and Karen, the fire remains under investigation.
August, 1991
Traffic report
No injuries were reported in a one horse and buggy accident south of Imogene on July 27.
Oren Irvin was in control of the rig carrying three passengers. Authorities believe the buggy overturned when the driver’s brains locked up, causing him to gee when he should have hawed.
Jan. 1991
Harold’’’s Goose
Randolph, IA -Harold Hardy wanted to get into goosing. Bernie Hughes was happy to get him started.
Bernie gave Harold a girl goose and a boy goose. Harold and his son fixed up a lovely home for the couple then waited in anticipation for the little ones to come along. They waited and waited. There was never a hint of a goose egg.
Christmas was drawing near and, really, why buy feed for a couple of celibate geese? So while his son was away Harold prepared the Christmas goose…er, geese, and put them in the freezer.
When his son came home that evening he went straight in the house to tell his Dad the good news: “I found the eggs this morning! She has 26 of them covered up in a hidden nest.
July, 1991
Human fire hydrant
Monica O’Connor knows how a fire hydrant feels.
Monica was bent over pulling weeds from her flower bed in Imogene when she caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye. She turned just in time to see a large dog right behind her with his rear leg lifted. The orders she gave that dog were none that her children ever heart.
The dog ran off, leaving a trail behind him and Monica vowed never again to wear red pants while pulling weeds.
May, 1991
Jewel of the month
Glen Hall came up with the jewel of the month when he returned from an afternoon with “the boys” at the dog races. When he got home his wife asked if they had been drinking beer. Glen’s innocent response was, “We had one a few times.”
Jan, 1991
Holman’s discipline
Farragut, IA - Charlie Holman has never quite caught on to the fine art of disciplining his children. He’s always left that up to his wife, Linda.
Last month Charlie was awakened from a sound sleep when Kara, his teenage daughter, received a phone call at 1:00 a.m. It was her boyfriend. The following day when Charlie mentioned this to the boy’s father, he learned that Kara had initiated the late night calls by calling her boyfriend at 12:55 a.m.
Charlie decided to take matters into his own hands. Kara wasn’t home when he marched upstairs and removed the phone from her room. He handed the phone to his wife with instructions to “Put this in the closet…she doesn’t need it for awhile.”
A few days went by and there wasn’t a mention of the missing phone. Charlie was confident that Kara was learning a lesson and was taking her punishment gracefully. Then the phone rang and Kara answered it in her room. How the heck did that happen? The phone was still in the closet!
After a little investigating (and snorts of laughter from his wife) it was discovered that Charlie had removed the phone from his daughter Mindy’s room, a room that had been vacated a year ago when Mindy got married and moved out.
September, 1991
Who’s on first?
Essex, IA – Debbie Hughes just couldn’t believe it as she watched a baseball game between Essex and Oakland.
Debbie was sitting with her father, Ruffes Alexander, when she first verbalized her aggravation with the Oakland team. “Look at that, Dad. They all have the same number! How do we tell them apart?”
Ruffes contained his laughter and let Debbie keep pointing this out to others.
After a few innings and a lot of remarks, Debbie finally noticed numbers on the back of the Oakland boys’ uniforms. That “same number” she referred to on the front of their uniforms was not a zero, but an “O” for Oakland.
July, 1991
Harvey’s blessing
Mary Pelster, daughter of Harvey and Betty Pelster, has been dating Dennis “Vendo” Blankman for quite some time.
Vendo and Mary, both from Omaha, were in Imogene for the weekend and Vendo nervously approached Mary’s father and asked, “Can I have your daughter’s hand?” Harvey, in all seriousness, asked, “What for?”
Vendo went on to explain, “I want to marry your daughter.” Harvey replied “That’s your problem.
With a Harvey-type blessing, Mary and Vendo are planning a July ’92 wedding.
November 1, 1991
Call the plumber
Council Bluffs, IA – Nichole Roane, 8, must have been picking up on prenatal conversations before her Aunt Tammy gave birth.
Nichole was at the home of her grandmother, Mary Margaret McGinn, when Mrs. McGinn received a phone call that Tammy and the baby were coming home from the hospital. After hearing this news Nichole began asking questions. “Is the baby OK?”…”Is Tammy OK?”…”Did they get her water fixed?”
July, 1991
McGinnis sells porn
Anyone in the market for “nudities?” According to some of the guys at the Town and Country Tavern you can buy nudities from Doug McGinnis of Shenandoah.
The rumor started when Doug, who is in the insurance business, stopped by Imogene one evening. The juke box was playing loud making it hard to hear whenoug mentioned that he was now selling “annuities.”
July, 1991
Misconception
Tracy McQueen, Farragut, IA, is studying to be an RN at Methodist School of Nursing in Omaha. After a long week at the hospital Tracy was riding back to SW Iowa with her fiancé, Casey Campin. Tracy mentioned (groaned) how tired her feet were.
Riding along with the windows down, Casey had the perfect solution for his darling’s tired feet. “Take your shoes off and stick them out the window”, Casey Suggested. “I don’t want to lose my new sandals!” was Tracy’s reply.
April, 1991
Another tale of Tyner
There are many stories written in the Hub about Mick Tyner’s escapades. This month’s episode deals with starlings, those large black birds that once, after eating mulberries, bombed Mick from the air and ruined his only decent shirt.
Mick entered his bachelor farm home and thought he’d been burglarized. The place was a wreck. Then he heard strange noises. Braving it into his living room he found a half dozen starlings flying around in a panic. Only one of the birds was having fun. It was riding around in circles on the ceiling fan.
Luckily, mulberries aren’t in season and the cleaners should be able to take care of Mick’s furniture, drapes and carpet. And to look on the bright side, he got free fertilizer on his only plant.
Mick’s first thought was to blame a couple of his buddies for the prank. Then he discovered the starlings were swooping down his chimney and coming in through the fireplace.
April, 1991
Killer tripod strays from herd
No injuries were reported in an accident caused by a loose tripod roaming freely on a gravel road.
Pat Hughes topped a hill just west of his country home when he struck and severely injured a tripod. Pat called the Fremont County Game Commission to inquire about getting a tag so he could keep the 3-legged stand. No such luck. The company surveying a bridge on the road wanted their tripod back.
Since there were no warning signs indicating “survey crew ahead” or “tripod crossing”, Pat was not held responsible. The tripod did cause the first minor damage to Pat’s pickup. All the other dents have been major.
August, 1991
New disc
Amanda Steiner is an avid fan of local entertainer George McGargill and plays his music constantly. Hearing that he would soon be releasing a new CD, Amanda asked George if he had any new discs. George, heavy into farming and putting his music on the back burner, replied, “No, but I’ve been looking for a used one on farm sales.”
May, 1991
Parrish wins prize
Dee Owens, chairman for the annual Pioneer Dinner, said 105 Pioneers (Imogene area people 70 years and older) and their guests were served at this year’s event.
Winning a prize for being the oldest was Neil Parrish who clocked in at 96. Edward Martin, one of the “pups” at the age of 70, won a prize for driving the farthest. Edward and his wife, Esther, came all the way from Norfolk, NE, to join the group.
June, 1991
Close call in IA City
Essex, IA – Mary Ellen Slater was in Iowa City for the graduation of her granddaughter, Lynette, when she saw what appeared to her as a suicide attempt.
Walking through the streets amid partying college students, Mary Ellen looked up and saw a young girl on a roof. She pointed it out to Lynette and just as she was about to scream, “Don’t jump!” Lynette spoke up. “Get a grip, Grandma. She’s just going out to tan herself.”
June, 1991
Eliminator Eliminated
The Eliminator was eliminated last month when it was the victim of a gust of wind that wrapped it around a grain bin on the Dave McGargill farm.
The Eliminator, a camper on the back of an ancient pickup, made history when it broke record speed taking the rails to Shenandoah. Many gourmet breakfasts were served from the kitchen and the hotel side saved Don Conrad a wasted (no pun intended) trip home last St. Patrick’s Day.
A memorial fund for the Eliminator has been established. Generous donations can be sent to Dave McGargill, Imogene, IA, 51645.
June, 1991
Willard’s dream
Willard Wetherell, official scales person for Imogene Grain, Inc., weighed a bull for Gary Smiley. The creature weighed 2006 pounds. This impressed Willard.
Willard took his work home with him that night. He had a dream that the bull was chasing him and in an attempt to run from the gigantic animal, Willard fell out of bed and injured his toe.
October, 1991
Bag worm cure
Has anyone besides Jerry Maher been having a problem with bag worms? If so, Jerry would like to share his proven remedy for the dilemma.
Jerry got relief from his bag worms by using a 50-50 mixture of diesel fuel and oil. As a simple precautionary measure, Jerry suggests you do this in a non-smoking environment.
After applying this solution Jerry said the bag worms vanished from his trees.
June, 1991
Thanks but no thanks
Without the help of his mom, Ann, and his sister, Sherri, Larry Owens graduated from high school last month.
It was at Larry’s celebration that Sherri recalled her and her Mom looking over Larry’s grade school homework. It was an English paper and he had it all wrong. They intervened and corrected his errors.
Larry came home the next day with an “F” on his paper. He appreciated their help but thereafter kept his homework hidden.
April, 1991
Carlson in Vegas
Blanchard, IA – Steve Anderson, foreign correspondent for the Blanchard, IA, area, reports that grain tycoon Terry Carlson is also engaged in a less prominent profession. Terry is a male stripper in Las Vegas.
Anderson, Carlson, and a third guy with clean shorts, Merlin Swanson, were on stage in Vegas performing as Chip ‘n Dale impersonators. According to the report, Terry had more money stuffed in his skivvies that night than he has ever made playing the markets.
Jan, 1991
Up a Degree
When most area farmers talk degrees, they’re talking weather. But not George McGargill.
After many years of evening classes, George finally got his degree in accounting from Buena Vista College in Clarinda. George says he plans to continue farming and will use his accounting knowledge to more accurately figure his annual loss.
Paris without a Visa
Kolleen and Kirk Hughes are taking their winter vacation in Paris, France.
In preparing for the trip, Kolleen was talking to her well-traveled aunt who asked Kolleen if she had her visa. Kolleen said, “No, Dad frowns on them. We’re not taking any credit cards.”
Kolleen should have quit while she was ahead. But instead, the conversation continued and her aunt asked where they planned to stay. Kolleen told her they had made arrangements to stay in hospitals because they were a lot cheaper. “Hostels” was the word Kolleen meant to say.
June, 1991
Gopher Season opens
Gopher hunting has never received proper recognition. As far as we know, it’s never received any recognition. But, according to Kim Hughes, when you see a diehard gopher hunter in action, the sport takes on an entirely new meaning.
Kim drove into Doc Regan’s yard where Doc was sitting silently in a lawn chair with a shotgun in one hand. On the ground in front of the chair was a garden hose running full blast into a gopher hole. Doc was ready for the kill as soon as he flushed out the critter.
Whether Doc bagged his prey or ran the well dry was not reported. The excitement was too much for Kim so he got out of there.
Jan, 1991
Imogene Grain Market
Avererage grain prices for the month of December were:
Corn: $2.12
Beans: $5.56
Feb., 1991
Children taught safety
Omaha, NE – Tony Martin, born and raised in rural Imogene, now lives in Omaha where he and his wife, Terrie, are working and raising four children. They have drilled it into their children not to talk to strangers and to come into the house immediately if a stranger is lurking around their neighborhood.
Dominic, 6, and Nicholas, 4, often play in the parking lot of St. Stanislaus Church which is across the street from their home. Recently the two boys came running into the house and breathlessly told their dad that a stranger in the parking lot tried to talk to them. Tony praised his boys for not talking to the stranger. The boys went on to say that the stranger wouldn’t quit talking to them and that he also followed them when they headed for home.
Tony didn’t like the sound of this at all. He questioned the boys and got a description of the suspect. While looking up the phone number of the Omaha Police, Tony asked the kids, “How old do you think he was?” Dominic and Nicholas answered, “Oh, about five.”
March, 1991
Nebelisms
It was Shrove Tuesday when Marty Laughlin had a draw beer at the Town and Country Tavern where Joe Nebel was a customer.
Noted for his natural ability to make a party out of nothing, Nebel, who would rather have been at the Mardi Gras, declared it to be “Marty Draw” in Imogene and the party began.
May, 1991
Dandelion irrigation
Bud Laughlin has an intense hate for dandelions. He’s out to kill at the first sign of the pesky weeds. Bud is also losing it.
Story has it that Bud sprayed his entire yard and surrounding areas before realizing that he forgot to mix chemicals with the water in his sprayer.
November, 1991
Ear ache remedy
With the change in temperatures this time of year it’s not uncommon for children to get those dreadful ear aches. Mary Ellen King was reminiscing about raising her children and her home remedy for a child’s ear ache.
Mary Ellen said she would boil a raisin, get it nice and plump, hot and juicy, put it inside a cotton ball and put it in the child’s ear. The moist heat was supposed to stop the pain.
This makes sense, but did it work? Mary Ellen doesn’t know for sure. She said the kids were usually so darn hungry they ate the raisin.
December, 1991
Needs practice
Hub Cub Reporter Kirk Hughes had his first experience with using a micro-recorder for an interview. His assignment was a group of hunters from Muskatine, IA. Kirk was already familiar with the group.
With all the professionalism he could muster up, and remembering the reporter’s questions, Who? What? When?, etc., Kirk began his interview. The first question on the recorder was, “What’s your name, Brad?” And it went downhill from there.
August, 1991
Bug spreads through Hughes Family
There seems to be a bug in the Hughes family.
The epidemic started this spring when little Kenny Hughes, son of Joe and Jackie Hughes, was burning trash near an out building on their farm. The building caught on fire and was destroyed.
About a month later the bug hit at the Junior and Pam Hughes farm when two of their children thought it would be nice to have a wiener roast. Since it was too windy out in the open, the kids started their bonfire inside a shed. The Imogene Fire Dept. kept the fire from spreading to the house but was unable to save the building. The kids were unharmed by the fire but did get a few blisters from natural causes.
Last month the epidemic spread on down the road to Bernie and Karen Hughes’ farm. Once again, another building was lost to fire. Imogene firefighter Pat Williams said the fire “could have been started by rats chewing the electrical wiring.” An empty matchbook near the site indicated that the rats might have also been playing with matches.
With four little suspects to be interrogated by Bernie and Karen, the fire remains under investigation.
August, 1991
Traffic report
No injuries were reported in a one horse and buggy accident south of Imogene on July 27.
Oren Irvin was in control of the rig carrying three passengers. Authorities believe the buggy overturned when the driver’s brains locked up, causing him to gee when he should have hawed.
Jan. 1991
Harold’’’s Goose
Randolph, IA -Harold Hardy wanted to get into goosing. Bernie Hughes was happy to get him started.
Bernie gave Harold a girl goose and a boy goose. Harold and his son fixed up a lovely home for the couple then waited in anticipation for the little ones to come along. They waited and waited. There was never a hint of a goose egg.
Christmas was drawing near and, really, why buy feed for a couple of celibate geese? So while his son was away Harold prepared the Christmas goose…er, geese, and put them in the freezer.
When his son came home that evening he went straight in the house to tell his Dad the good news: “I found the eggs this morning! She has 26 of them covered up in a hidden nest.
July, 1991
Human fire hydrant
Monica O’Connor knows how a fire hydrant feels.
Monica was bent over pulling weeds from her flower bed in Imogene when she caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye. She turned just in time to see a large dog right behind her with his rear leg lifted. The orders she gave that dog were none that her children ever heart.
The dog ran off, leaving a trail behind him and Monica vowed never again to wear red pants while pulling weeds.
May, 1991
Jewel of the month
Glen Hall came up with the jewel of the month when he returned from an afternoon with “the boys” at the dog races. When he got home his wife asked if they had been drinking beer. Glen’s innocent response was, “We had one a few times.”
Jan, 1991
Holman’s discipline
Farragut, IA - Charlie Holman has never quite caught on to the fine art of disciplining his children. He’s always left that up to his wife, Linda.
Last month Charlie was awakened from a sound sleep when Kara, his teenage daughter, received a phone call at 1:00 a.m. It was her boyfriend. The following day when Charlie mentioned this to the boy’s father, he learned that Kara had initiated the late night calls by calling her boyfriend at 12:55 a.m.
Charlie decided to take matters into his own hands. Kara wasn’t home when he marched upstairs and removed the phone from her room. He handed the phone to his wife with instructions to “Put this in the closet…she doesn’t need it for awhile.”
A few days went by and there wasn’t a mention of the missing phone. Charlie was confident that Kara was learning a lesson and was taking her punishment gracefully. Then the phone rang and Kara answered it in her room. How the heck did that happen? The phone was still in the closet!
After a little investigating (and snorts of laughter from his wife) it was discovered that Charlie had removed the phone from his daughter Mindy’s room, a room that had been vacated a year ago when Mindy got married and moved out.
September, 1991
Who’s on first?
Essex, IA – Debbie Hughes just couldn’t believe it as she watched a baseball game between Essex and Oakland.
Debbie was sitting with her father, Ruffes Alexander, when she first verbalized her aggravation with the Oakland team. “Look at that, Dad. They all have the same number! How do we tell them apart?”
Ruffes contained his laughter and let Debbie keep pointing this out to others.
After a few innings and a lot of remarks, Debbie finally noticed numbers on the back of the Oakland boys’ uniforms. That “same number” she referred to on the front of their uniforms was not a zero, but an “O” for Oakland.
July, 1991
Harvey’s blessing
Mary Pelster, daughter of Harvey and Betty Pelster, has been dating Dennis “Vendo” Blankman for quite some time.
Vendo and Mary, both from Omaha, were in Imogene for the weekend and Vendo nervously approached Mary’s father and asked, “Can I have your daughter’s hand?” Harvey, in all seriousness, asked, “What for?”
Vendo went on to explain, “I want to marry your daughter.” Harvey replied “That’s your problem.
With a Harvey-type blessing, Mary and Vendo are planning a July ’92 wedding.
November 1, 1991
Call the plumber
Council Bluffs, IA – Nichole Roane, 8, must have been picking up on prenatal conversations before her Aunt Tammy gave birth.
Nichole was at the home of her grandmother, Mary Margaret McGinn, when Mrs. McGinn received a phone call that Tammy and the baby were coming home from the hospital. After hearing this news Nichole began asking questions. “Is the baby OK?”…”Is Tammy OK?”…”Did they get her water fixed?”
July, 1991
McGinnis sells porn
Anyone in the market for “nudities?” According to some of the guys at the Town and Country Tavern you can buy nudities from Doug McGinnis of Shenandoah.
The rumor started when Doug, who is in the insurance business, stopped by Imogene one evening. The juke box was playing loud making it hard to hear whenoug mentioned that he was now selling “annuities.”
July, 1991
Misconception
Tracy McQueen, Farragut, IA, is studying to be an RN at Methodist School of Nursing in Omaha. After a long week at the hospital Tracy was riding back to SW Iowa with her fiancé, Casey Campin. Tracy mentioned (groaned) how tired her feet were.
Riding along with the windows down, Casey had the perfect solution for his darling’s tired feet. “Take your shoes off and stick them out the window”, Casey Suggested. “I don’t want to lose my new sandals!” was Tracy’s reply.
April, 1991
Another tale of Tyner
There are many stories written in the Hub about Mick Tyner’s escapades. This month’s episode deals with starlings, those large black birds that once, after eating mulberries, bombed Mick from the air and ruined his only decent shirt.
Mick entered his bachelor farm home and thought he’d been burglarized. The place was a wreck. Then he heard strange noises. Braving it into his living room he found a half dozen starlings flying around in a panic. Only one of the birds was having fun. It was riding around in circles on the ceiling fan.
Luckily, mulberries aren’t in season and the cleaners should be able to take care of Mick’s furniture, drapes and carpet. And to look on the bright side, he got free fertilizer on his only plant.
Mick’s first thought was to blame a couple of his buddies for the prank. Then he discovered the starlings were swooping down his chimney and coming in through the fireplace.
April, 1991
Killer tripod strays from herd
No injuries were reported in an accident caused by a loose tripod roaming freely on a gravel road.
Pat Hughes topped a hill just west of his country home when he struck and severely injured a tripod. Pat called the Fremont County Game Commission to inquire about getting a tag so he could keep the 3-legged stand. No such luck. The company surveying a bridge on the road wanted their tripod back.
Since there were no warning signs indicating “survey crew ahead” or “tripod crossing”, Pat was not held responsible. The tripod did cause the first minor damage to Pat’s pickup. All the other dents have been major.
August, 1991
New disc
Amanda Steiner is an avid fan of local entertainer George McGargill and plays his music constantly. Hearing that he would soon be releasing a new CD, Amanda asked George if he had any new discs. George, heavy into farming and putting his music on the back burner, replied, “No, but I’ve been looking for a used one on farm sales.”
May, 1991
Parrish wins prize
Dee Owens, chairman for the annual Pioneer Dinner, said 105 Pioneers (Imogene area people 70 years and older) and their guests were served at this year’s event.
Winning a prize for being the oldest was Neil Parrish who clocked in at 96. Edward Martin, one of the “pups” at the age of 70, won a prize for driving the farthest. Edward and his wife, Esther, came all the way from Norfolk, NE, to join the group.
June, 1991
Close call in IA City
Essex, IA – Mary Ellen Slater was in Iowa City for the graduation of her granddaughter, Lynette, when she saw what appeared to her as a suicide attempt.
Walking through the streets amid partying college students, Mary Ellen looked up and saw a young girl on a roof. She pointed it out to Lynette and just as she was about to scream, “Don’t jump!” Lynette spoke up. “Get a grip, Grandma. She’s just going out to tan herself.”
June, 1991
Eliminator Eliminated
The Eliminator was eliminated last month when it was the victim of a gust of wind that wrapped it around a grain bin on the Dave McGargill farm.
The Eliminator, a camper on the back of an ancient pickup, made history when it broke record speed taking the rails to Shenandoah. Many gourmet breakfasts were served from the kitchen and the hotel side saved Don Conrad a wasted (no pun intended) trip home last St. Patrick’s Day.
A memorial fund for the Eliminator has been established. Generous donations can be sent to Dave McGargill, Imogene, IA, 51645.
June, 1991
Willard’s dream
Willard Wetherell, official scales person for Imogene Grain, Inc., weighed a bull for Gary Smiley. The creature weighed 2006 pounds. This impressed Willard.
Willard took his work home with him that night. He had a dream that the bull was chasing him and in an attempt to run from the gigantic animal, Willard fell out of bed and injured his toe.
October, 1991
Bag worm cure
Has anyone besides Jerry Maher been having a problem with bag worms? If so, Jerry would like to share his proven remedy for the dilemma.
Jerry got relief from his bag worms by using a 50-50 mixture of diesel fuel and oil. As a simple precautionary measure, Jerry suggests you do this in a non-smoking environment.
After applying this solution Jerry said the bag worms vanished from his trees.
June, 1991
Thanks but no thanks
Without the help of his mom, Ann, and his sister, Sherri, Larry Owens graduated from high school last month.
It was at Larry’s celebration that Sherri recalled her and her Mom looking over Larry’s grade school homework. It was an English paper and he had it all wrong. They intervened and corrected his errors.
Larry came home the next day with an “F” on his paper. He appreciated their help but thereafter kept his homework hidden.
April, 1991
Carlson in Vegas
Blanchard, IA – Steve Anderson, foreign correspondent for the Blanchard, IA, area, reports that grain tycoon Terry Carlson is also engaged in a less prominent profession. Terry is a male stripper in Las Vegas.
Anderson, Carlson, and a third guy with clean shorts, Merlin Swanson, were on stage in Vegas performing as Chip ‘n Dale impersonators. According to the report, Terry had more money stuffed in his skivvies that night than he has ever made playing the markets.
Jan, 1991
Up a Degree
When most area farmers talk degrees, they’re talking weather. But not George McGargill.
After many years of evening classes, George finally got his degree in accounting from Buena Vista College in Clarinda. George says he plans to continue farming and will use his accounting knowledge to more accurately figure his annual loss.
The Imogene Hub is a monthly newspaper published for the sole purpose of bringing humor into your lives. Contents are not to be taken seriously.
This section of the Imogene web site is maintained by Hub editor Veronica Keasling and will be updated the first of each month.
For information on Hub subscriptions, ads, or to submit a humorous story, contact Veronica at 712-246-3795 or keasling@dishmail.net.
Enjoy!
This section of the Imogene web site is maintained by Hub editor Veronica Keasling and will be updated the first of each month.
For information on Hub subscriptions, ads, or to submit a humorous story, contact Veronica at 712-246-3795 or keasling@dishmail.net.
Enjoy!
