May 1, 2012
Tail Gating
Omaha, NE – It took Dan McGinn of Council Bluffs,
IA, longer than usual to drive
into the Westroads in Omaha after being held up in traffic by a slow
goose.
It is speculated that the goose might have been going to American Eagle
but taking the long way around in order to “duck” past Dick’s Sporting
Goods.
Storm disrupts romance
Shenandoah, IA –
Duke and Dawn Newmann headed out of town on April 14 for a romantic
weekend in Omaha. They got as far as Imogene and stopped for lunch and Margaritas and before they were
finished, dark clouds filled the sky and tornado warnings were being broadcast.
Finding comfort in the fact that all customers would be able to take shelter in the beer cooler, they ordered another drink and watched the hail and rain fill the outside beer garden.
That storm passed but before they continued on
their trip, another storm moved in and then another. Seven hours later they were
still at the Isle and driving to Omaha didn’t seem like the smart thing to do so
they went back to Shenandoah, picked up the dog from the dog sitter’s house,
went home and passed out.
Mark your calendar
Lots of prizes will be awarded at the annual Kolleen McGargill Memorial
Golf Tournament that has been scheduled for Saturday, June 30, 2012, with a 1:00
pm shotgun start at the American Legion Country Club in Shenandoah, IA.
Four-person Best Ball will be played at a cost of $35 per person.
Sandwiches, salads and desserts will be served from 11:30 a.m. until 12:45 pm.
Limited carts are available so don’t hesitate to call 246-3308 to get in your
reservation. Carry-on alcohol will not be allowed.
The Kolleen McGargill Foundation has established a scholarship
fund.
Card Shower for Sally Conners
Shenandoah, IA – Sally Conners, formerly of Imogene and now living at Elm Heights/Park Crest in Shenandoah, will celebrate her 90th birthday on May 10, 2012. In honor of this occasion her family is hosting a card shower. Cards can be sent to Sally at Elm Heights/Park Crest, 1203 S. Elm St., Shenandoah, IA 51601.
Taking shelter
Riverton, IA -When SW Iowa was threatened with
tornados in April, Shelly Mount was rushing around, getting things ready to go
to the storm shelter. She told her two preschoolers, Keeley and Tate, that they
could take along some of their favorite
things.
Keeley grabbed her new Hoops for Heart toys and Tate rushed to safety
carrying five pair of clean underwear.
Who got Hank’s goat?
Farragut, IA – The population in Imogene doubled
when the Ditmars family game to the Imogene ball park to celebrate their father
Hank’s 80th birthday with a family game of baseball.
Stanley Ditmars came from Colorado for the event and on his way he
spotted the perfect gift for his Dad in a Nebraska barnyard. He stopped and
bought it and before the game began Stanley opened the back of his camper and
out jumped a small white Billy goat.
Reportedly, the look on Hank’s face was priceless, as was the shock on
his wife Charlotte’s face. But knowing Hank and Charlotte’s travel schedules
wouldn’t allow them to keep the goat, Stanley took it back to Colorado with him,
giving them unlimited visitation
rights.
Code Red Alert
Fremont County Emergency Management offers a Code
Red phone call to warn of threatening weather in the area.
To sign up for this free alert
before the storm call Mike Crecelius at 712-374-3355 or go online to
www.co.fremont.ia.us/fremontcoemergencymanagement.htm
and click on the Code Red icon. Fill in the information they need and
you will then be alerted if a storm is heading your way.
Tattoo Artists
Milford, NE – On Ron Tucker’s left arm is a small
“RT” tattoo, written in what can best be described as kid print. When
asked about it, Ron had a good story.
He said he was around 12 years old and hanging out on the streets of
Harvard, NE, with two other boys his age. An older brother of one of these boys
came home from the Navy and had a tattoo. He also had the lowdown on how to
create your own tattoo and he shared this knowledge with the three young
hooligans. They didn’t waste time making tracks to the local Five and Dime to
buy needles and ink.
One of the boys, however, was a little more imaginative than Ron with a
simple “RT” on his arm and this little rebel decided to tattoo the title of his
favorite song on his hand. The name of the song was “Born to
Lose.”
Unfortunately, this boy never won any spelling bees and as a permanent
reminder of this, he has gone through life with his hand advertising that he was
“Born Too Loose”.
Endangered snails
Shenandoah, IA – Lila Breedlove made the news
last month when she reported finding a large colony of endangered snails while
she was walking on the Wabash Trace Nature Trail. The reporter from the local
radio station investigated and found Lila’s snails to be common Iowa snails but
agreed that they probably were endangered if they were stupid enough to set up
camp where groups of people were walking and riding
bikes.
Eventful trip
Shenandoah, IA – Annie Van Houten took her
husband Chad and daughter Kaitlin to Eppley Airfield in Omaha to catch a flight
to Mexico for a Van Houten family wedding. The three of them were walking up to
an ascending escalator when they saw a 60ish-looking woman who had apparently
fallen backwards. She was lying on her back with her luggage in one hand and
her cell phone to her ear in the other hand as she rode feet-first up the
escalator.
Chad and Kaitlin ran to help her while Annie found the escalator’s
Emergency Stop button. They got to the woman just before she reached the top.
Fortunately, she was untangled and to their surprise, she was chatting
nonchalantly on her phone. As they helped her up, she signed off from the
conversation with a cool“Gotta go now. Talk to you later.” Then she looked at
them, smiled and said,“Have you ever gone from bifocals to trifocals? They’re
tricky!” And she tootled off, pulling her luggage as if nothing had ever
happened.
Learning from Mom
Chicago, IL – Eamon Healey, 2, has started to repeat what his mother
Jenny says to him. On a recent evening he asked her for milk and she said, "Just
a minute, Eamon". He said, "Mommy
only have two hands?"
The night before she was making dinner and he wanted her to do something for him.
Repeating a phrase she often heard from her own mother, Mary Lou McGinn, Jenny
said to Eamon, “I only had two hands.”
LAND OF THE FREE, BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE
It was one year ago on April 11 that Sgt. Brent Maher, formerly of Imogene, was killed in Afghanistan by a roadside bomb. He was 31.
As a reminder of his sacrifice, Brent’s classmates have installed marble benches at
the Shenandoah National Guard Armory as well as at Brent’s alma mater, Farragut High School.
Let us all take time this Memorial Day to say a prayer of thanks for
Brent and for all the soldiers who have made such sacrifices for our
freedom.
As a reminder of his sacrifice, Brent’s classmates have installed marble benches at
the Shenandoah National Guard Armory as well as at Brent’s alma mater, Farragut High School.
Let us all take time this Memorial Day to say a prayer of thanks for
Brent and for all the soldiers who have made such sacrifices for our
freedom.
Great deal
Beebeetown,
IA – Paul Martin was once again traveling the byways near Beebeetown, IA, and
stopped by the Twisted Tale bar and grill for lunch.
The Twisted Tail is owned by a former Imogene St. Patrick’s classmate of Paul’s,
Ruth (Hughes) Spencer and her husband, Ed. When Paul walked in, Ed was working
the bar and Paul asked if Ruth was around. Ed said no, that she was working her
realtor’s job that morning, but that he would call her so Paul could say hello.
When Ruth answered the phone, Paul identified himself. Without missing a beat, Ruth
said, “Have I got a deal for you.”
She went on to explain that she had just listed an acreage north of town and the
owner’s name is Paul Martin. She told Paul, “If you bought this property, we
wouldn’t even have to change the name on the deed.”
Mildred & Manilla
Ames, IA – Tom and Michelle Doyle are now CEO’s of a new company
called Mildred and Manilla, featuring all natural spa products, the first of
which is several varieties of all natural bathing salts with future plans to
market other items including facial clays.
These products are currently retailed only at Tommy’s Salon in Ames
(tommyssalon.com) but will eventually be sold to salons, spas, and boutiques
everywhere.
The company is named after Tom and Michelle’s late grandmothers, Mildred
Doyle (former Imogene St. Patrick Parade Grand Marshal!) and Manilla Boyer from
Bloomfield, IA.
Rotten potatoes
Brooke and Mason Silence were spending the night before Easter with their Grandma Judy
Williams who was busy preparing food for the family Easter celebration. As she proceeded to cut up potatoes, Mason asked, "What kind of potatoes are you fixing G'ma?"
He evidently didn't hear her correctly because he exclaimed.....ALL ROTTEN
potatoes?! Of course G'ma Judy had said au gratin.
A friend in need
Shenandoah, IA - Alyssa Stephens, Stanton, IA, has achieved her
4-year college degree and will be going back in the fall for her masters. In
the meantime, she’s “living her dream” as a soda jerk at Jay Drug in
Shenandoah.
One day last month Alyssa was having a bad day and her close
friend from Pella, IA, knew about it through texting and Facebook notes. That
afternoon Alyssa was behind the soda fountain when a customer walked in, saying
she needed a Hallmark card. The customer was her friend who showed up to go for
a walk with her after work and turn her bad day into a good one.
After their walk her friend had to leave to be in Boone, IA, that evening.
Early golf
Ames, IA - In the first week of April Tom Doyle and a friend decided to take advantage of the warm early weather and get out for their first round of spring golf. While waiting to tee off, another gentleman at
the course asked the twosome "Is this your first time out this year?" Tom replied "not if you count January 9th!"
Tom was talking about an unusually warm couple of days in the
2nd week of January that allowed a quick 9 holes in 70 degree weather. For
a while, he thought he had time-warped to June, until he went to tee his ball up
for the second hole and couldn’t get the tee into the still-frozen ground.
Tom still blames "ground temperature" for his horribly high score that day.
Interesting tiddbit
Shenandoah, IA – Awhile back Depot Deli owner Bill Hillman had
supporters of Democratic Senator Harkin in one part of his joint, and
Republican Representative Latham and some of his supporters in another
section.
One of Bill’s good friends and loyal customers asked what he was doing
letting Republicans in his place. Bill’s reply was, “I go both
ways.”
Whatever-doodles
Judy Williams asked her daughter Camielle Silence to make Scotcharoos for the
Williams' Easter dinner. The day before the dinner Camielle
told her mother that she had made the Snickerdoodles.
Judy thought to herself, “well those are good too.” As everyone was
clearing their plates Camielle's friend Brad asked "Where are the
Scotchadoodles?"
Hillman's travels
Shenandoah, IA – Bill and Deb Hillman were in Hot Springs, Ak,
and when they got home, they told Kevin and Becca Olson, owners of the Emerald
Isle in Imogene, that as they were traveling through Arkansas they saw a sign
for the Emerald Isle so pulled into the town. They stopped and had lunch, which
they described as Mexican, and they asked for T-shirts to bring home for
souvenirs. Then they gave Kevin and Becca shirts that had “Jose’s Mexican
Restaurant” on the front.
The look of confusion on their faces prompted Bill to explain that the Emerald Isle
was a real estate agency and so they went Jose’s next door.
A clever mother
Brian i nvited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s
mother couldn’t help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian’s roommate,
Stephanie, was. Brain’s mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between
Brian and Stephanie and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started
to wonder if there was more between them than met the
eye.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brain volunteered, “I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just
roommates.”
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, “Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
Brain said,“Well I doubt it, but I’ll send her an email just to be sure.
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom: I’m not saying that you “did” take the gravy ladle from the
house, I’m not saying that you “did not” take the gravy ladle. But the fact
remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love,
Brian.
Brian received the following email back:
Dear Son, I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Stephanie, I’m not
saying that you “do not”sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if
Stephanie is sleeping her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom.
Moral of the story:
Never underestimate Mom
Happy Mother’s Day
Beebeetown,
IA – Paul Martin was once again traveling the byways near Beebeetown, IA, and
stopped by the Twisted Tale bar and grill for lunch.
The Twisted Tail is owned by a former Imogene St. Patrick’s classmate of Paul’s,
Ruth (Hughes) Spencer and her husband, Ed. When Paul walked in, Ed was working
the bar and Paul asked if Ruth was around. Ed said no, that she was working her
realtor’s job that morning, but that he would call her so Paul could say hello.
When Ruth answered the phone, Paul identified himself. Without missing a beat, Ruth
said, “Have I got a deal for you.”
She went on to explain that she had just listed an acreage north of town and the
owner’s name is Paul Martin. She told Paul, “If you bought this property, we
wouldn’t even have to change the name on the deed.”
Mildred & Manilla
Ames, IA – Tom and Michelle Doyle are now CEO’s of a new company
called Mildred and Manilla, featuring all natural spa products, the first of
which is several varieties of all natural bathing salts with future plans to
market other items including facial clays.
These products are currently retailed only at Tommy’s Salon in Ames
(tommyssalon.com) but will eventually be sold to salons, spas, and boutiques
everywhere.
The company is named after Tom and Michelle’s late grandmothers, Mildred
Doyle (former Imogene St. Patrick Parade Grand Marshal!) and Manilla Boyer from
Bloomfield, IA.
Rotten potatoes
Brooke and Mason Silence were spending the night before Easter with their Grandma Judy
Williams who was busy preparing food for the family Easter celebration. As she proceeded to cut up potatoes, Mason asked, "What kind of potatoes are you fixing G'ma?"
He evidently didn't hear her correctly because he exclaimed.....ALL ROTTEN
potatoes?! Of course G'ma Judy had said au gratin.
A friend in need
Shenandoah, IA - Alyssa Stephens, Stanton, IA, has achieved her
4-year college degree and will be going back in the fall for her masters. In
the meantime, she’s “living her dream” as a soda jerk at Jay Drug in
Shenandoah.
One day last month Alyssa was having a bad day and her close
friend from Pella, IA, knew about it through texting and Facebook notes. That
afternoon Alyssa was behind the soda fountain when a customer walked in, saying
she needed a Hallmark card. The customer was her friend who showed up to go for
a walk with her after work and turn her bad day into a good one.
After their walk her friend had to leave to be in Boone, IA, that evening.
Early golf
Ames, IA - In the first week of April Tom Doyle and a friend decided to take advantage of the warm early weather and get out for their first round of spring golf. While waiting to tee off, another gentleman at
the course asked the twosome "Is this your first time out this year?" Tom replied "not if you count January 9th!"
Tom was talking about an unusually warm couple of days in the
2nd week of January that allowed a quick 9 holes in 70 degree weather. For
a while, he thought he had time-warped to June, until he went to tee his ball up
for the second hole and couldn’t get the tee into the still-frozen ground.
Tom still blames "ground temperature" for his horribly high score that day.
Interesting tiddbit
Shenandoah, IA – Awhile back Depot Deli owner Bill Hillman had
supporters of Democratic Senator Harkin in one part of his joint, and
Republican Representative Latham and some of his supporters in another
section.
One of Bill’s good friends and loyal customers asked what he was doing
letting Republicans in his place. Bill’s reply was, “I go both
ways.”
Whatever-doodles
Judy Williams asked her daughter Camielle Silence to make Scotcharoos for the
Williams' Easter dinner. The day before the dinner Camielle
told her mother that she had made the Snickerdoodles.
Judy thought to herself, “well those are good too.” As everyone was
clearing their plates Camielle's friend Brad asked "Where are the
Scotchadoodles?"
Hillman's travels
Shenandoah, IA – Bill and Deb Hillman were in Hot Springs, Ak,
and when they got home, they told Kevin and Becca Olson, owners of the Emerald
Isle in Imogene, that as they were traveling through Arkansas they saw a sign
for the Emerald Isle so pulled into the town. They stopped and had lunch, which
they described as Mexican, and they asked for T-shirts to bring home for
souvenirs. Then they gave Kevin and Becca shirts that had “Jose’s Mexican
Restaurant” on the front.
The look of confusion on their faces prompted Bill to explain that the Emerald Isle
was a real estate agency and so they went Jose’s next door.
A clever mother
Brian i nvited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s
mother couldn’t help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian’s roommate,
Stephanie, was. Brain’s mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between
Brian and Stephanie and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started
to wonder if there was more between them than met the
eye.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brain volunteered, “I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just
roommates.”
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, “Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
Brain said,“Well I doubt it, but I’ll send her an email just to be sure.
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom: I’m not saying that you “did” take the gravy ladle from the
house, I’m not saying that you “did not” take the gravy ladle. But the fact
remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love,
Brian.
Brian received the following email back:
Dear Son, I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Stephanie, I’m not
saying that you “do not”sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if
Stephanie is sleeping her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom.
Moral of the story:
Never underestimate Mom
Happy Mother’s Day
The Imogene Hub is a monthly newspaper published for the sole purpose of bringing humor into your lives. Contents are not to be taken seriously.
This section of the Imogene web site is maintained by Hub editor Veronica Keasling and will be updated the first of each month.
For information on Hub subscriptions, ads, or to submit a humorous story, contact Veronica at 712-246-3795 or keasling@dishmail.net.
Enjoy!
This section of the Imogene web site is maintained by Hub editor Veronica Keasling and will be updated the first of each month.
For information on Hub subscriptions, ads, or to submit a humorous story, contact Veronica at 712-246-3795 or keasling@dishmail.net.
Enjoy!
